THE OFFICIAL WEBSITE OF THE BOOK
Updates 2019
This page features only the updates for 2019. Click here for 2018, 2017 and 2015-2016.
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18 December 2019 - 7 January 2020
Welcome to our bumper Christmas and new year edition of TEE.
We're concluding our Christmas countdown with our TOP TEN Typical Errors in English (as made by Polish students) chart. What is number one?
In Blogspot, our annual Christmas light-hearted 'rant' gets its annual update.
In Cartoony universe, additional cartoons have been added to cartoonworld and illustrated idioms.
Our miserable student presents his annual list of the best one-liners published on this site in 2019.
And that's it for this year - see you in 2020!
Miserable student quote: 'I got my girlfriend some make-up used in horror movies for Christmas. I can't wait to see her face when she tries it.'
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11 December 2019
We're continuing our Christmas countdown with our TOP TEN Typical Errors in English (as made by Polish students) chart. Now having completed 10, 9, 8, 7, 6 and 5, here's 4 & 3!
Miserable student quote: 'There's this company that pays me to interrupt people and stop what they're doing and upsetting them. Some people think I'm very disturbing.'
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4 December 2019
We're continuing our Christmas countdown with our TOP TEN Typical Errors in English (as made by Polish students) chart. Now having completed 10, 9, 8 & 7, here's 6 and 5...
Miserable student quote: 'I wanted to design a very sophisticated, modern and state-of-the-art 500m tall skyscraper, but when the authorities looked at my plans in detail, they told me there were too many floors.'
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27 November 2019
We're continuing our Christmas countdown with our TOP TEN Typical Errors in English (as made by Polish students) chart. Last week we dealt with numbers 10 to 9, now we've added 8 to 7...
Miserable student quote: 'I know I'd like to be in the position of giving out permission to everyone, but I can't allow myself to do that.'
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20 November 2019
We're having our countdown to Christmas in the form of a TOP TEN Typical Errors in English (as made by Polish students) chart. Well, I've been doing this job for some twenty years plus now, and I've about reached the point where I can more or less determine what they are.​​ Now I'm not saying that this is the definitive top ten; this is purely a subjective opinion, and for sure some teachers would disagree with their rankings, but I'm also sure that we will all agree on these errors to be in, at least, our top twenty lists. All these can also be found in the TEE book. This week: numbers 10 & 9.
Miserable student quote: 'I like using selfie sticks. they help me when I need to have a good, long look at myself.'
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14 November 2019
In what's the difference, we have been and gone, a typical learner of English nightmare...
Miserable student quote: 'When shopping for furniture, IKEA is the only place I know where you literally have to make the beds.'
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6 November 2019
In what's the difference, we have resilience and resistance, but we will be paying particular attention to the scientific differences.
Miserable student quote: 'They say that being fat runs in the family. Unfortunately, nobody runs in my family.'
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23 October 2019
This week we're going back to Not4grammarbores, and we have a whole load of new terms to add to the list, all of which have to do with literary devices and figurative language (also known as a figure of speech) along with the words personification, imagery and analogy.
Miserable student quote: 'I couldn't work out why night becomes day, but it eventually dawned on me.'
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16 October 2019
This week is the fifth and final part of a major new article on the English language. In part 5, I discuss the fact that native speakers don't always speak in 'Standard English', more opinions on the language, being a reformed pedant and the correct way to make a British cup of tea...
Miserable student quote: 'I once took on the job of trying to bring a being into existence in Frankenstein's laboratory, but I couldn't make a living out of it.'
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10 October 2019
This week is the fourth part of a major new article on the English language. In part 4, I go back to the question, 'what is Standard English?', and the ideas that lead into Typical Errors In English...
Miserable student quote: 'My friend went on a building course and learned how to make concrete. He said it was good, solid work.'
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2 October 2019
This week is the second part of a major new article on the English language. In part 3, I ask should we 'fix' the language, and what are the best grammar books?
Miserable student quote: 'My friend went on a building course and learned all about the structure and properties of concrete. He said it was hard.'
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25 September 2019
This week is the second part of a major new article on the English language. I ask the question: WHAT IS STANDARD ENGLISH?
Miserable student quote: 'I went to a talk titled 'Only ten per cent of everything is as not as bad as you thought' - so this made it only a bit of a disappointment.'
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18 September 2019
This week is the first part of a major new article on the English language. It's so major that it's over 5000 words and may be spread over several weeks, so...
The TEE view of the English language part 1: The English language is changing all the time. The ways of teaching also change. (Well, they do with me.) While I was looking back at the first edition of the book, I came to agree with a correspondent who happened to be a research scientist – along with other people also telling me this – that it was just a little bit on the prescriptive side. In other words, I was telling people what I think they must do without considering what other alternatives of expression are available that may (or, perhaps, are best not to be used) either in casual speaking, formal speaking, and writing (both formal and informal). In part 1, I look at​ THE THREE APPROACHES OF TEACHING ENGLISH, and THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE - a background.
Miserable student quote: 'I've been invited to go to a seminar titled 'The truth about Charles Darwin' but I didn't want to see the event evolve into an argument...'
4 September 2019
Apologies for the fact that I really haven't had time to add something new to the site, but I decided to give a little update to one of my recent articles. So in this edition: Jacob Rees-Mogg's banned English words and phrases Now with added (perhaps embarrassing) photograph of the man from 3 September, it seems that if you need to send him a memo, for goodness sake don't use 'got', 'very' and 'lot'. You can ignore him - he's just being pompous.
Miserable student quote: 'I've got this friend who does all kinds of things that can be embarrassing to him and us. He's just told me he's taken up limbo dancing. I mean, how low can you go?'
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31 July 2019
Yes, I know this site is supposed to be on its summer holiday, but one news story has got my attention so much that I feel I have to write about it - and it's my old favourite, the use of the English language. So in this edition:
Jacob Rees-Mogg's banned English words and phrases
Apparently, if you need to send him a memo, for goodness sake don't use 'got', 'very' and 'lot'. You can ignore him - he's just being pompous.
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Website normality of some kind will resume after the summer, but there will be some changes as regards updates.
Miserable student quote: 'Who is Wes Roach? Well, the answer to this is if you rearrange the letters. Who cares?'
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10 July 2019
A reminder that this site is officially on its summer holiday, so there are no new jokes or cartoons, but what is still being added is the story of my three weeks in Wielicka salt mine.
As I write this, I've now completed my third and final week with the story of that week now online. This final week covers Monday, 1 July to Friday, 5 July. The blog is not a promotion for the mine or a critique, but is just simply the story of my experiences.
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3 July 2019
A reminder that this site is officially on its summer holiday, so there are no new jokes or cartoons, but what is still being added is the story of my three weeks in Wielicka salt mine. As I write this, I'm entering my third and final week, but the story of last week - part 2- is now online. This covers Monday, 24 June to Friday, 28 June. The blog is not a promotion for the mine or a critique, but is just simply the story of my experiences.
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26 June 2019
This is technically the last edition for the summer, but actually It'll still be updated for two more weeks as I'm adding an interesting blog over that time to discuss my time staying in Wielicka salt mine, which is actually happening as I write this, and this is for over a total of three weeks. The blog is not a promotion for the mine but is just simply the story of my experiences. This week, I look back at my first week during my stay at the mine from Monday, 17 June to Friday, 21 June. All I can say is that there won't be any new cartoons until after the summer, but I might do one or two updates during the period. For sure, the next two weeks, so you can keep checking...
Miserable student quote: 'When it comes to making a staircase, there are several steps you have to take.'
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19 June 2019
All quiet this week on TEE. Sorry... I'm just too busy this week.
But please note that the site will shortly take its annual summer break, with the last update on the 26 June, and then back to normal on Wednesday, 4 September 2019
Miserable student quote: 'I wanted a fruit salad so my girlfriend gave me a bowl of olives, cucumbers, tomatoes, avocados, plus red and yellow peppers*.'
*And yes, botanically, they're all fruit.
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12 June 2019
This week on TEE: We're back to Not4GrammarBores, and this week we have pen name and pseudonym. And that's it really, but we will add the fact that the site will shortly take its annual summer break, with the last update on the 26 June, and then back to normal on Wednesday, 4 September 2019.
Miserable student quote: 'I often wondered what happened at the end of night-time. Then it dawned on me.'
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5 June 2019
This week on TEE: Another new entry for the blogspot, where I basically talk about the decline in television viewing, and Polish TV seems to be unable to stop this as its output is so dull.
Miserable student quote: 'My girlfriend wants to find a website full of stock photography. Why is she so interested in pictures of liquid flavourings for soups and sauces?'
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29 May 2019
This week: After all the attention (and it did get a lot of attention) of the British comics feature, we get well and truly back on track with all things English language, and we have another new question for Doctor Dot Fullstop: 'You say in the TEE book that we don't drop the 'h' when we say a hotel, but I've heard many broadcasters - and read in many official online newspapers and magazines - examples of 'an hotel'. So are you wrong?
Miserable student quote: 'I read that red meat is not bad for you. But furry green meat certainly is...'
22 May 2019
This week: We have the final part of our major article about British comics, but this week we're focussing on one of the biggest British comics fans and collectors in the world - but he's not even British! We talk to Irmantas Povilaika about his interest in British comics, his work as a cartoonist, and how he copes with the English language.
The second part of a major article about British comics looks at two fantastic books featuring the great British cartoonist Ken Reid, and don't forget we also have the first part, which discusses the history of British comics, starting in the 19th century (with some extra information added about the first comics), through to their peak in the fifties, their decline, and now their revival, along with a chat with Irmantas.
Next week? I really don't know. How do I follow all that?
Miserable student quote: 'My girlfriend says calling me stupid is the last thing she wants to do. But she says she's now reached the last item on her list.'
15 May 2019
This week: We have the second part of a major article about British comics, and this week it's looking at two fantastic books featuring the great British cartoonist Ken Reid, plus an exclusive interview with Irmantas Povilaika, British comics expert and magazine contributor in getting the books available, the artist, and much more.
Don't forget we also have the first part, which discusses the history of British comics, starting in the 19th century, through to their peak in the fifties, their decline, and now their revival, along with a chat with Irmantas.
In features, here's something that I bet a lot of you didn't know about... the present perfect in the first conditional? Yes, it exists!
Miserable student quote: 'I didn't have any desire to park my car in the grounds of my house. You see, I just don't have any drive.'
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8 May 2019
We're back - and we've got the first part of a major new article on British comics. This week, we look at their history, starting in the 19th century, through to their peak in the fifties, their decline, and now their revival. We also have an exclusive interview with Irmantas Povilaika, British comics expert and magazine contributor!
Miserable student quote: 'When it comes to counting from zero, I'll stop at nothing.'
17 April 2019
NOT4GRAMMARBORES: Just sentence adverb for you to look over. Sorry, we're very quiet this week before the Easter and May holidays, but there's a nice, really big major feature coming up very soon!
Future updates: The site will not be updated on the 24 April and 1 May - but back to normal on the 8 May!
Miserable student quote: 'A doctor once found a fantastic sheet of window glass found inside a man's bottom. What a pane in the ass. I know, it's schoolboy standard this week. Sorry about that.'
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10 April 2019
THE WISH LIST: A nice list examples of the word 'wish' and all the grammar structures in which it can be used. I wish.
Future updates: The site will not be updated on the 24 April and 1 May - but back to normal on the 8 May!
Miserable student quote: 'You know, you can always hope that your hopes, desires, or fears can actually happen. A lot of people don't realize these.'
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3 April 2019
GRAMMAR: A very typical student error with 'good'.
Future updates: The site will not be updated on the 24 April and 1 May - but back to normal on the 8 May!
Miserable student quote: 'I told my friend that I don't have a problem with attitude. It's just that he has a problem with perception.'
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27 March 2019
WORD ORDER: Well, this is unusual... in the sense I've got a new entry in this section! However, it only really repeats what has already been advised in the book, but these sentence examples are often said to me, so they're here. It's about in the correct order using words.
Miserable student quote: 'When it comes to correspondence, I bet the company that makes SCRABBLE are glad they now only have to write emails.'
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20 March 2019
BLOGSPOT: In search of the funniest joke in the world Is there such a thing as the funniest joke in the world? Roger Hartopp investigates.
Miserable student quote: 'I have a friend who wrote a book but couldn't read, so he regularly checks the top 10 best sellers and wonders if any of the books were his.'
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13 March 2019
Sorry folks, no updates this week... but we do have the new joke and a new cartoon.
Miserable student quote: 'There's this bookshop that's selling books on top secrets at bargain prices. In fact, they're practically giving them away.'
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6 March 2019
Tenses to describe the present NEW! All the tenses and structures that we use when it comes to telling someone about the present.
And as a reminder, we also have all the tenses and structures to describe the past and the future. And you'll be surprised as to how many of them there are!
Miserable student quote: 'My brother's got a huge appetite for books so I bought him one on cookery.'
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27 February 2019
Tenses to describe the past NEW! All the tenses and structures that we use when it comes to telling someone about the past.
Miserable student quote: 'My friend loves non-creative thinking. Now he can't imagine doing anything else.'
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20 February 2019
Tenses to describe the future Some additional information has been added to all the tenses and structures that we use when it comes to telling someone about the future. And hopefully over the next two-three weeks, we'll be introducing tenses and structures that help describe situations in the past and the present!
And we've fixed the miserable student's words of wisdom for 2018. For some reason it only existed on the mobile; now it's on the computer too!
Miserable student quote: 'I wondered why my friend was so bright. He had a working light bulb in his head.'
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13 February 2019
Blogspot A series of original texts by me used for my English lessons, with vocabulary lists. Hopefully you'll find them entertaining, interesting, or even funny! Another 'new' piece of writing for analysis: When one country cut its public holidays. It's a piece of text that I no longer use in my conversations, but as a case study, you may find it useful.
Miserable student quote: 'I'm terrible with synonyms. I mean... I'm terrible!'
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6 February 2019
Blogspot A series of original texts by me used for my English lessons, with vocabulary lists. Hopefully you'll find them entertaining, interesting, or even funny! Another new piece of writing for analysis: Technophile or technophobe. Also, the Christmas Humbug article has been moved here. But it's clearly not the time of year to worry about this now.
Miserable student quote: 'What do you call a joke about an individual cruise ship that sailed across the Atlantic? - One liner.'
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30 January 2019
NEW SECTION: Blogspot A series of original texts by me used for my English lessons, with vocabulary lists. Hopefully you'll find them entertaining, interesting, or even funny! First up: English grammar.
Not4grammarbores: How could I miss this one? It's the controversial split infinitives, and you can even read more about them here.
Miserable student quote: 'I can't see myself working for a company that makes blindfolds.'