THE OFFICIAL WEBSITE OF THE BOOK
Short stories: An analysis: an ugly, blancmagey-type thing
As a possible new feature, TEE would like to run a series of short stories, that is, texts that are no more than 1500 words. Now I don't know how to class this one, but I think it was inspired by my blobfish cartoons...
As we all don’t know, blobfish are very ugly, very very fat, and fart at 6pm. But they have very kind hearts, eat chocolate and often build bridges across rivers and teeth. They are highly gelatinous and educated, the cleverest blob getting a degree in beer flavouring at the University of Rubber. But their cooking skills are terrible; everything is watery.
Reg is a good example. Although he gave up a career in squashing things, he’s often unhappy, but he gets great pleasure out of icing potatoes. As he explained rather badly: ‘King Edwards are the best, and I get really excited about them, although peas and carrots don’t really
work as regards their love lives. I don’t get excited about potatoes, really.’ He plans to take a summer holiday in the Patagonian Desert, next door to Frank Lee Obsurd, taking two glass suitcases, a bottle of orangeade, and a pet butane gas bottle. He wants to write a book on his experiences but, as he explains, ‘Office 365 is too expensive.’​
When not thinking about electronic handbags, Reg enjoys hanging out with his friends (see picture above) and he has a pet cat called Zbigniew (just see the picture, okay).
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Unfortunately, Zbigniew was far too fat to comment. And he’s not excited about potatoes. Really.
THE END (I think 8 out of 10, just for sheer cheek!)
Students! If you've got a short story you would like to present, then please do send it to us at roger@typicalerrorsinenglish.com . Your text must be no more than 1500 words, and don't worry if you have made a few spelling and grammar mistakes - we will do the corrections here (and tell you what those corrections are!) Sorry, there are no prizes, but there is the chance of having your piece of text privately assessed and marked.
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